ROCK N’ ROLL WILL NEVER DIE
Nah I’m sorry but look I’m sorry but Rock n’ Roll?
Rock n’ Roll will never die
It’s going nowhere
It’s here to stay
What are you, fucking stupid?
I’m sorry but nah you’re fucking high
If you think that rock n’ roll will ever die
You’re cracked up out of your fucking mind

Nah ‘cause Rock ‘n Roll is here to stay
It will never go away
Look at  Def fucking Lepard
Drummer’s got one fucking arm
Look at the fucking Stones
They’ve been around for forty fucking years
Look at fucking Guns and Roses
Need I say more

Nah ‘cause I’m sorry but look I’m sorry but
Nah but I’m sorry but Rock ‘n Roll is not moving 
It’s going nowhere
It’s here to stay.







THE SANDBOX
And I would go
And I would go everyday almost to the sandbox
And ‘cause I loved the sandbox so much
And ‘cause I had my pail and shovel
And shovel

And I would play in the sandbox
And it would be so much fun
And I would make mountains in the sand
And I would have so much fun

And and but one day I went to the sandbox
And it was so sad
And I cried and I cried because
Someone took a doody in my sandbox
Someone took a doody in my sandbox

And that was so bad
And that was so disgusting
And how could they do that
And and that was so bad

And and and I didn’t see it
And and I sat right down in it 
And it felt squishy and I got up
And I cried and I cried and I cried

And why didn’t they clean up after themselves
And why didn’t they clean up the mess

And now my pants are dirty
And I’m crying and I’m crying and I’m crying
And I’m never going back to the sandbox again
And I hate everybody.







JESUS WAS WAY COOL
Jesus was way cool.  Everybody 
liked Jesus.
Everybody wanted to hang out 
with him.
Anything he wanted to do he did.
He turned water into wine, 
and if he had wanted to,
he could have turned wheat into 
marijuana, sugar into cocaine, 
or vitamin pills into amphetamines.
He walked on the water and swam 
on the land.
He would tell these stories and 
people would listen.
He was really cool.
If you were blind, or lame, you 
just went to Jesus and he would 
put his hands on you and you 
would be healed.  That’s so cool.

He could have played guitar better 
than Hendrix.
He could have told the future.
He could have baked the most 
delicious cake in the world.
He could have scored more goals 
than Wayne Gretsky.
He could have danced better than 
Barishnikof.
Jesus could have been funnier 
than any comedian you can 
think of.

Jesus told people to eat his body 
and drink his blood.
That’s so cool.  Jesus was so cool.
But then some people got jealous 
of how cool he was, so they killed 
him.
But then he rose from the dead!  
He rose from the dead, danced 
around and went up to heaven.  
I mean, that’s so cool.  Jesus was 
so cool.  No wonder there are so 
many Christians.







PAIN AND PLEASURE
a little pain never hurt anybody
i think it makes people even stronger
pain, self-denial - makes people stronger
pleasure, self-gratification - makes people weaker
and it is better to be stronger than weakeeer
therefore pain is better than pleasure
self-denial is better than self-gratification

but these concepts are inextricably linked
you can’t have one without the other
if any of these things are good, they all are.
this implies the concept of good
which implies the existence of evil

uh-oh!







TO WALK AMONG THE PIGS
To walk among the pigs
To go where the pigs go and 
do as the pigs do
To inhale the pungent stench 
of the pigs and truly savor the scent
To sing the song of the pigs
To build up a rapport, to be one with the pigs
To work shoulder to shoulder with the pigs on 
  pig like projects
To sweat like a pig and then realize that pigs 
  never sweat
To wallow in the mud with the pigs
To experience absolutely all that pigness entail
To hear, To see, To feel like a pig
To think, eat and smell like a pig
To comprehend completely what it is to be a pig
To fully understand that you and the pigs 
and all other things in the universe are 
of the same ilk
And then...
To weed out all non pig things, to fully cultivate 
and allow to blossom the flower 
that is the pig within your soul
And to finally stand alone, in the garden of the 
Absolute 
and pray and pray and 
prey like 
a pig







SENSITIVE ARTIST
I am a sensitive artist.  Nobody understands me because I am so deep.  
In my work, I make allusions to books that nobody else has read, 
music that nobody else has heard; and art that nobody else has seen.  
I can’t help it because I am so much more intelligent and well-rounded 
than everyone who surrounds me.  I stopped watching tv when I was six 
months old because it was so boring and stupid, and started reading 
books and going to recitals and art galleries.  I don’t go to recitals 
any more, because my hearing is too sensitive, and I don’t go to art 
galleries any more because there are people there and I can’t deal 
with people because they don’t understand me.  I stay at home, reading 
books that are beneath me and working on my work, which no one 
understands.  
I am sensitive.








GARY AND MELISSA
Gary and Melissa loved to make love
Loved to make love
Loved to make love
Over and over and over again

For the first few weeks of their relationship, 
they fucked four or five times a night.
They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion,
They bought sex books:
The Joy of Sex, The Sensuous Couple
The Joy of Sex Part II, The Kama Sutra,
Even More Joy of Sex,
Popular Mechanics, Betty Crocker
Anything
They tried as many positions 
as they were capable of 
Physically
Physically	
Physically
They were really turned on for a while

Then, to heighten their passion,
They bought sex toys:
Ben Wah Balls, French Ticklers
Nipple clamps, Cock Rings
Bowling Balls, Dildos, Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for a while

They set up a video camera and taped 
themselves having sex
Then they watched it on the VCR while 
having more sex
Then, to heighten their passion,
Gary taped Melissa having sex with some 
of his friends
And Melissa taped Gary having sex with 
some of her friends
They watched it on the VCR while having 
more sex.
They were really turned on

As the years went by, Gary and Melissa 
became fine, upstanding members of 
their community
Although they never married, their relationship outlasted 
all the marriages on their block
And they never fought, except to heighten 
their passion
They made an agreement that when one 
of them died,
The other would continue to live with and 
make love to the corpse,
But as luck would have it, 
They were both killed in a freak accident
And died at the exact same moment, 
holding hands.